








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2836 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3133 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1137 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2158 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,314,377 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foxiasty | 56% | 103 |
| #2 | GIlioner :3 | 52% | 141 |
| #3 | johnnycarlson | 52% | 229 |
| #4 | Big shaq | 50% | 157 |
| #5 | Kamilocek126 | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | johnnycarlson | 52% | 229 |
| #4 | Big shaq | 50% | 157 |
| #5 | Kamilocek126 | 48% | 62 |
| #6 | Carles Puyol | 45% | 130 |
| #7 | Morased | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIlioner :3 | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Kamilocek126 | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | johnnycarlson | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Big shaq | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | foxiasty | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnnycarlson | 949 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | GIlioner :3 | 656 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | Big shaq | 456 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | foxiasty | 220 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kamilocek126 | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foxiasty | +2.84 | 78 | 46 |
| #2 | GIlioner :3 | +1.69 | 68 | 43 |
| #3 | johnnycarlson | +1.41 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | El nino prime | +0.87 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | Carles Puyol | -1.68 | 65 | 42 |





