








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1499 | 39% |
| Smokes | 894 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1139 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 360 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,208 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIlioner :3 | 58% | 137 |
| #2 | El nino prime | 56% | 103 |
| #3 | johnnycarlson | 53% | 165 |
| #4 | Big shaq | 53% | 125 |
| #5 | Carles Puyol | 48% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | El nino prime | 56% | 103 |
| #3 | johnnycarlson | 53% | 165 |
| #4 | Big shaq | 53% | 125 |
| #5 | Carles Puyol | 48% | 110 |
| #6 | Kamilocek126 | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El nino prime | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | GIlioner :3 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Kamilocek126 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | johnnycarlson | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Big shaq | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnnycarlson | 730 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | GIlioner :3 | 630 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Big shaq | 339 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | El nino prime | 294 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Carles Puyol | 119 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foxiasty | +2.92 | 79 | 43 |
| #2 | johnnycarlson | +1.62 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | GIlioner :3 | +1.52 | 67 | 44 |
| #4 | El nino prime | +0.22 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Kamilocek126 | -2.27 | 56 | 54 |





