










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1088 | 24% |
| Smokes | 501 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1839 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1173 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,302 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpyDom | 35 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Father Mako | 34 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Dongerlordjr | 11 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | I’m Buns ♥ | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | OG PONCE | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpyDom | 955 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Father Mako | 309 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dongerlordjr | 238 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | I’m Buns ♥ | 188 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | OG PONCE | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darty | +4.72 | 62 | 49 |
| #2 | Selena Quintanilla | +3.12 | 57 | 41 |
| #3 | DumpyDom | +2.95 | 42 | 57 |
| #4 | OG PONCE | +2.60 | 46 | 25 |
| #5 | Father Mako | +1.97 | 51 | 53 |





