








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 787 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1456 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3071 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,343,155 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masjasik | 51% | 178 |
| #2 | ph0en1x | 47% | 302 |
| #3 | hasgvard | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | Slonja | 45% | 119 |
| #5 | juke | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masjasik | 51% | 178 |
| #2 | ph0en1x | 47% | 302 |
| #3 | hasgvard | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | Slonja | 45% | 119 |
| #5 | juke | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph0en1x | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | masjasik | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | hasgvard | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masjasik | 213 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | ph0en1x | 189 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #3 | Slonja | 128 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | hasgvard | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | juke | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph0en1x | +2.26 | 51 | 59 |
| #2 | juke | +1.59 | 47 | 54 |
| #3 | masjasik | +0.95 | 38 | 61 |
| #4 | ec0 | -0.29 | 48 | 52 |
| #5 | Slonja | -1.85 | 34 | 57 |





