








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Wingman | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1587 | 10% |
| Smokes | 5419 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5910 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3494 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,789,073 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masjasik | 51% | 375 |
| #2 | juke | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | hasgvard | 50% | 171 |
| #4 | Slonja | 47% | 283 |
| #5 | ec0 | 47% | 302 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ec0 | 41 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | masjasik | 17 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | hasgvard | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Slonja | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | juke | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masjasik | 432 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #2 | ec0 | 376 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Slonja | 325 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | hasgvard | 213 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | juke | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juke | +2.31 | 42 | 61 |
| #2 | ph0en1x | +1.94 | 51 | 58 |
| #3 | Iggy | +1.69 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | masjasik | +1.44 | 39 | 62 |
| #5 | ec0 | -1.06 | 43 | 52 |





