








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3410 | 15% |
| Smokes | 8536 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 4395 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5849 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,922,070 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasgvard | 55% | 215 |
| #2 | ph0en1x | 51% | 375 |
| #3 | ec0 | 51% | 178 |
| #4 | Slonja | 50% | 305 |
| #5 | Iggy | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ec0 | 31 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | ph0en1x | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | hasgvard | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Slonja | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Iggy | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slonja | 358 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | ec0 | 269 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | hasgvard | 257 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | ph0en1x | 232 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | Iggy | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iggy | +2.27 | 63 | 70 |
| #2 | ph0en1x | +1.69 | 50 | 58 |
| #3 | masjasik | +1.37 | 41 | 61 |
| #4 | ec0 | -0.02 | 42 | 53 |
| #5 | Slonja | -1.36 | 38 | 57 |





