








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2648 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2785 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4912 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,941 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasgvard | 51% | 265 |
| #2 | masjasik | 50% | 305 |
| #3 | ph0en1x | 47% | 283 |
| #4 | juke | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | ec0 | 45% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ec0 | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | masjasik | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ph0en1x | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | hasgvard | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Iggy | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masjasik | 375 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #2 | hasgvard | 297 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | ec0 | 202 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | ph0en1x | 198 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Iggy | 121 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juke | +3.35 | 46 | 59 |
| #2 | Iggy | +2.16 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | ph0en1x | +2.03 | 49 | 60 |
| #4 | masjasik | +1.99 | 39 | 64 |
| #5 | ec0 | -0.85 | 36 | 54 |





