








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 427 | 15% |
| Smokes | 920 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 796 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,240 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Addictus Pornly | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | JuicinGoose.. | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | rhyetohigh | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | roeVwavecheck | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rhyetohigh | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | roeVwavecheck | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | SWAZEEEE | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | Chud Almighty | 45% | 64 |
| #8 | Fentjamin Cranklin | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chud Almighty | 20 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | roeVwavecheck | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | rhyetohigh | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Addictus Pornly | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | JuicinGoose.. | 5 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWAZEEEE | 146 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | rhyetohigh | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | roeVwavecheck | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fentjamin Cranklin | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | JuicinGoose.. | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | +4.72 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | JuicinGoose.. | +1.77 | 56 | 44 |
| #3 | Addictus Pornly | +1.61 | 43 | 53 |
| #4 | Chud Almighty | +1.35 | 54 | 13 |
| #5 | roeVwavecheck | +1.25 | 58 | 60 |





