








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4472 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2345 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2910 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3267 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $979,693 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted Kaczynski | 51% | 61 |
| #2 | roeVwavecheck | 50% | 204 |
| #3 | Addictus Pornly | 49% | 190 |
| #4 | Chud Almighty | 49% | 246 |
| #5 | PeePeePooPoo | 48% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chud Almighty | 72 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Addictus Pornly | 30 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | roeVwavecheck | 28 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | SWAZEEEE | 23 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | PeePeePooPoo | 9 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWAZEEEE | 1184 | 0.31 | 24 min |
| #2 | roeVwavecheck | 377 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fentjamin Cranklin | 363 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | JuicinGoose.. | 221 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Addictus Pornly | 186 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | +3.66 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Addictus Pornly | +0.73 | 45 | 46 |
| #3 | roeVwavecheck | +0.36 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | JuicinGoose.. | +0.13 | 51 | 38 |
| #5 | Chud Almighty | -0.03 | 53 | 16 |





