










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1480 | 33% |
| Smokes | 50 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 1484 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1405 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,100 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | 47% | 121 |
| #2 | Ted Kaczynski | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | roeVwavecheck | 42% | 141 |
| #4 | Chud Almighty | 41% | 39 |
| #5 | Addictus Pornly | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | roeVwavecheck | 42% | 141 |
| #4 | Chud Almighty | 41% | 39 |
| #5 | Addictus Pornly | 39% | 54 |
| #6 | PeePeePooPoo | 36% | 25 |
| #7 | JuicinGoose.. | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roeVwavecheck | 22 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Addictus Pornly | 12 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Chud Almighty | 12 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | rhyetohigh | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | PeePeePooPoo | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roeVwavecheck | 269 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | rhyetohigh | 173 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | PeePeePooPoo | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Addictus Pornly | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ted Kaczynski | 15 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | +4.52 | 75 | 53 |
| #2 | Addictus Pornly | +1.01 | 46 | 37 |
| #3 | roeVwavecheck | +0.17 | 57 | 58 |
| #4 | Chud Almighty | -0.24 | 52 | 16 |
| #5 | JuicinGoose.. | -2.17 | 67 | 33 |





