








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6663 | 43% |
| Smokes | 3201 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3315 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2370 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $545,337 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | 47% | 182 |
| #2 | Chud Almighty | 44% | 84 |
| #3 | Addictus Pornly | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | JuicinGoose.. | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | Conimation | 35% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | 47% | 182 |
| #2 | Chud Almighty | 44% | 84 |
| #3 | Addictus Pornly | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | JuicinGoose.. | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | Conimation | 35% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chud Almighty | 31 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | rhyetohigh | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Addictus Pornly | 10 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Conimation | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | JuicinGoose.. | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | 305 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | JuicinGoose.. | 125 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Conimation | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Addictus Pornly | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chud Almighty | 24 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | +4.40 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | Conimation | +2.50 | 49 | 45 |
| #3 | Addictus Pornly | +1.11 | 49 | 46 |
| #4 | JuicinGoose.. | +0.82 | 52 | 36 |
| #5 | Chud Almighty | +0.70 | 62 | 14 |





