








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 36% |
| Smokes | 313 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 557 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 278 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,334 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 682 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diL | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | Step Mommy | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | TDH | 58% | 67 |
| #5 | Sensos | 51% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Step Mommy | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | TDH | 58% | 67 |
| #5 | Sensos | 51% | 100 |
| #6 | TontoTheIndian | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sensos | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | diL | 5 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | TDH | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | TontoTheIndian | 2 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 223 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sensos | 163 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | diL | 125 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | TDH | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Step Mommy | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoMomsSpaghetti | +7.14 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | diL | +2.32 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | Step Mommy | +1.56 | 47 | 34 |
| #4 | Sensos | +1.50 | 37 | 42 |
| #5 | TDH | +1.10 | 40 | 25 |





