








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 998 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1406 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1813 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1475 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1625 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,926 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 949 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step Mommy | 68% | 74 |
| #2 | diL | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | Ten | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | TDH | 48% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | Ten | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | TDH | 48% | 118 |
| #6 | TontoTheIndian | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | mylarbag | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | TDH | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | diL | 5 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Ten | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | TontoTheIndian | 4 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoMomsSpaghetti | 413 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ten | 143 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | TDH | 122 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | diL | 89 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Step Mommy | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoMomsSpaghetti | +6.04 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Step Mommy | +3.18 | 48 | 35 |
| #3 | diL | +2.21 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | TDH | +0.65 | 45 | 28 |
| #5 | Sensos | +0.43 | 37 | 47 |





