








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2787 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2345 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1423 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3086 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,242 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dtlf | 54% | 262 |
| #2 | fughbi | 52% | 175 |
| #3 | Big Donkey | 48% | 235 |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dtlf | 54% | 262 |
| #2 | fughbi | 52% | 175 |
| #3 | Big Donkey | 48% | 235 |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Donkey | 107 | 0.0249 |
| #2 | dtlf | 76 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | fughbi | 35 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dtlf | 1103 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | Big Donkey | 682 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | fughbi | 395 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackson | +2.57 | 85 | 40 |
| #2 | dtlf | +1.58 | 33 | 57 |
| #3 | fughbi | +1.51 | 64 | 31 |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | -4.67 | 9 | 28 |
| #5 | Big Donkey | -4.95 | 37 | 32 |





