








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1622 | 35% |
| Smokes | 768 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1191 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1018 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,312,530 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackson | 52% | 175 |
| #2 | dtlf | 51% | 212 |
| #3 | Big Donkey | 48% | 208 |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackson | 52% | 175 |
| #2 | dtlf | 51% | 212 |
| #3 | Big Donkey | 48% | 208 |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Donkey | 91 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | jackson | 90 | 0.0261 |
| #3 | dtlf | 59 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dtlf | 956 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | Big Donkey | 670 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | jackson | 407 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackson | +3.28 | 85 | 35 |
| #2 | dtlf | +1.84 | 33 | 54 |
| #3 | fughbi | +1.20 | 64 | 33 |
| #4 | Big Donkey | -3.91 | 38 | 34 |
| #5 | TrUsT_dA_mEtH | -4.30 | 10 | 20 |





