








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 33% |
| Smokes | 526 | 58% |
| HE Grenades | 44 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 42 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,194 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fughbi | 41% | 49 |
| #2 | dtlf | 39% | 84 |
| #3 | jackson | 39% | 62 |
| #4 | :> | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Big Donkey | 33% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fughbi | 41% | 49 |
| #2 | dtlf | 39% | 84 |
| #3 | jackson | 39% | 62 |
| #4 | :> | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Big Donkey | 33% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackson | 36 | 0.0290 |
| #2 | Big Donkey | 22 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | dtlf | 20 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | fughbi | 14 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | :> | 2 | 0.0171 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dtlf | 398 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Big Donkey | 181 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | fughbi | 153 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | jackson | 120 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | :> | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :> | +6.52 | 88 | 26 |
| #2 | jackson | +4.43 | 89 | 34 |
| #3 | dtlf | +1.73 | 32 | 57 |
| #4 | fughbi | +1.09 | 54 | 37 |
| #5 | Big Donkey | -4.37 | 37 | 34 |





