








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1734 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2420 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1093 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1646 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,350 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jimster9015 | 44% | 102 |
| #7 | Sneeze | 44% | 105 |
| #8 | bot Alberattte | 44% | 62 |
| #9 | Phanndesal | 41% | 93 |
| #10 | Lilyll | 24% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimster9015 | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Sneeze | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Zyphore | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Phanndesal | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | bot Alberattte | 7 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneeze | 608 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #2 | kururu | 236 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zyphore | 229 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | qish | 221 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Phanndesal | 146 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kururu | +3.57 | 68 | 43 |
| #2 | Kexrus | +1.99 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | Haru Urara | +1.01 | 34 | 64 |
| #4 | qish | +0.96 | 43 | 63 |
| #5 | Zyphore | +0.34 | 36 | 38 |





