








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 775 | 43% |
| Smokes | 474 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 269 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 273 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,482 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kururu | 47% | 109 |
| #2 | bot Alberattte | 44% | 64 |
| #3 | Kexrus | 41% | 93 |
| #4 | Haru Urara | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Steyr Scout | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jimster9015 | 33% | 51 |
| #9 | Zyphore | 33% | 84 |
| #10 | qish | 33% | 49 |
| #11 | kiiyo | 31% | 16 |
| #12 | Lilyll | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bot Alberattte | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Zyphore | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Jimster9015 | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Kexrus | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | kiiyo | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneeze | 348 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | qish | 315 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kexrus | 224 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zyphore | 186 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | kururu | 173 | 0.08 | 5 min |





