








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 314 | 16% |
| Smokes | 791 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 470 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 376 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,887 of utility $285 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qish | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Sneeze | 46% | 56 |
| #3 | kururu | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | Kexrus | 44% | 102 |
| #5 | Zyphore | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | syni | 33% | 12 |
| #8 | Phanndesal | 33% | 51 |
| #9 | Lilyll | 30% | 40 |
| #10 | Haru Urara | 27% | 15 |
| #11 | bot Alberattte | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kexrus | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Zyphore | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Phanndesal | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | qish | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Sneeze | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneeze | 349 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kexrus | 225 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | qish | 182 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zyphore | 153 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | kururu | 138 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kururu | +3.19 | 62 | 41 |
| #2 | Kexrus | +2.70 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | qish | +0.67 | 44 | 58 |
| #4 | Zyphore | +0.35 | 35 | 31 |
| #5 | Haru Urara | -0.58 | 39 | 65 |





