








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 944 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1676 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 407 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,102 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pdizzy | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | FirePatriot | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Schuetz | 48% | 62 |
| #4 | Nighthawk_15 | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | Royal | 47% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dr. Zeus | 45% | 56 |
| #7 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 40% | 43 |
| #8 | m00SE | 39% | 28 |
| #9 | Orb | 38% | 73 |
| #10 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 34% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 14 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | m00SE | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Orb | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Dr. Zeus | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Royal | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 331 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Orb | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dr. Zeus | 171 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 125 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Schuetz | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schuetz | +3.59 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | FirePatriot | +1.68 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | Orb | +1.46 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | pdizzy | +0.72 | 50 | 57 |
| #5 | Royal | +0.36 | 68 | 48 |





