








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 638 | 20% |
| Smokes | 955 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 665 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 913 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,939 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Mumflr Fumperdink | 69% | 45 |
| #3 | c0nVid | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | chanj | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Ja'ka'ke | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Xi_CoRupTed_iX | 48% | 94 |
| #7 | YaqTheNok | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Jasper | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | Captain Jack Sparrow | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mumflr Fumperdink | 12 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Xi_CoRupTed_iX | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Jacob | 6 | 0.0357 |
| #4 | c0nVid | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | chanj | 2 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xi_CoRupTed_iX | 476 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | Mumflr Fumperdink | 147 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ja'ka'ke | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jasper | 72 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 43 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob | +8.95 | 93 | 52 |
| #2 | Mumflr Fumperdink | +8.04 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | chanj | +3.00 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | RACECAR | +1.10 | 49 | 45 |
| #5 | Jasper | +0.91 | 75 | 52 |





