








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5231 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7158 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4666 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5996 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,347 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1042 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YaqTheNok | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Ja'ka'ke | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Maz | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Xi_CoRupTed_iX | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | c0nVid | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xi_CoRupTed_iX | 635 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | Tubby Toucan | 465 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cowpoke Kid | 322 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Maz | 288 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | YaqTheNok | 276 | 0.15 | 8 min |





