








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1271 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2765 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2343 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2220 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,735,898 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULIvain | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | PLetsu | 60% | 78 |
| #3 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 59% | 135 |
| #4 | Akio Kimura | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | m0nkeSY | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mrb0ss | 55% | 80 |
| #7 | . | 52% | 101 |
| #8 | Humps | 52% | 208 |
| #9 | Finrape | 48% | 58 |
| #10 | Larksi | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Finrape | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ULIvain | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | . | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Akio Kimura | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 1036 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #2 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 490 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | . | 265 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Finrape | 206 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | mrb0ss | 164 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0loer | +2.05 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | PLetsu | +1.06 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | . | +0.93 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | Rikun Kissa Jari | +0.50 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | mrb0ss | -0.18 | 45 | 65 |





