








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 439 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3774 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3940 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3693 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3512 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,201,317 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 48% | 126 |
| #11 | Finrape | 48% | 73 |
| #12 | ULIvain | 48% | 48 |
| #13 | m0nkeSY | 46% | 46 |
| #14 | Xenkknar | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | s0loer | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ULIvain | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | . | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #5 | PLetsu | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 2084 | 0.23 | 67 min |
| #2 | . | 597 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #3 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 451 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | Finrape | 291 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | PLetsu | 260 | 0.05 | 6 min |





