








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 435 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4587 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5199 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2913 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3974 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,075,090 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 816 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULIvain | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | s0loer | 59% | 135 |
| #3 | Akio Kimura | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | m0nkeSY | 56% | 63 |
| #5 | Larksi | 51% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | PLetsu | 49% | 211 |
| #9 | mrb0ss | 48% | 126 |
| #10 | Finrape | 48% | 119 |
| #11 | Xenkknar | 35% | 23 |
| #12 | OskuFi | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ULIvain | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | . | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | s0loer | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Finrape | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 1809 | 0.20 | 62 min |
| #2 | . | 444 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | Finrape | 286 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | mrb0ss | 263 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | PLetsu | 202 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0loer | +1.27 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | PLetsu | +1.02 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | . | +0.83 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | Rikun Kissa Jari | +0.47 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | mrb0ss | -0.25 | 47 | 65 |





