








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 581 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 303 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3633 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3786 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3038 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3326 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,999 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLetsu | 51% | 142 |
| #2 | . | 49% | 196 |
| #3 | Larksi | 49% | 116 |
| #4 | s0loer | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | mrb0ss | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 48% | 119 |
| #7 | Humps | 46% | 266 |
| #8 | ULIvain | 46% | 50 |
| #9 | Akio Kimura | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | m0nkeSY | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | s0loer | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | . | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | PLetsu | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humps | 1264 | 0.22 | 41 min |
| #2 | Rikun Kissa Jari | 534 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | . | 490 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | mrb0ss | 168 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | PLetsu | 133 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0loer | +1.66 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | PLetsu | +1.57 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | . | +0.83 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | Rikun Kissa Jari | +0.77 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | mrb0ss | +0.04 | 52 | 69 |





