








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3106 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2186 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2936 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,417,108 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Venjex | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | ุLasse Bluten | 37% | 75 |
| #7 | Minlor | 36% | 28 |
| #8 | JackieLafon | 34% | 35 |
| #9 | doOb | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marf1n | 8 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | ุLasse Bluten | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | doOb | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | JackieLafon | 2 | 0.0026 |





