








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 771 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6828 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5631 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6296 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6311 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,280,901 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venjex | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ongelovige THOMAS | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Dylan | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | drOpzZz | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | KOLT | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOLT | 201 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | drOpzZz | 176 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | ุLasse Bluten | 150 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hondo | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |





