








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 255 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1282 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3386 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2669 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,585,680 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naksuap | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | Keheveli | 51% | 197 |
| #3 | Anpuja | 51% | 259 |
| #4 | Luokkala | 50% | 274 |
| #5 | nappe | 47% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | nappe | 47% | 123 |
| #6 | soikka | 45% | 38 |
| #7 | radekbonk11 | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Boldis | 40% | 30 |
| #9 | JQnde | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luokkala | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Anpuja | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Keheveli | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | JQnde | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | soikka | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anpuja | 648 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #2 | Luokkala | 637 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | nappe | 415 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Keheveli | 354 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | soikka | 122 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anpuja | +2.10 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | nappe | +1.81 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Keheveli | +1.03 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | soikka | +0.86 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | radekbonk11 | +0.32 | 79 | 75 |





