








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 905 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 294 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3890 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4781 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3970 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3110 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,431,470 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naksuap | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | soikka | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | JQnde | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Keheveli | 51% | 232 |
| #5 | Luokkala | 51% | 419 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luokkala | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Keheveli | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Sniffaister | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | soikka | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | JQnde | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luokkala | 900 | 0.10 | 27 min |
| #2 | nappe | 570 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | Keheveli | 428 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sniffaister | 298 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | soikka | 211 | 0.15 | 7 min |





