








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 695 | 22% |
| Smokes | 906 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 804 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,033 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nappe | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Keheveli | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | Anpuja | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Sniffaister | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | Luokkala | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sniffaister | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | Luokkala | 56% | 34 |
| #6 | Boldis | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | JQnde | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | Juso | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luokkala | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | JQnde | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anpuja | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Luokkala | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Keheveli | 55 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | JQnde | 51 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sniffaister | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anpuja | +3.82 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Keheveli | +2.88 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | nappe | +2.21 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | Luokkala | +0.94 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | Boldis | -0.81 | 66 | 47 |





