








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2824 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1769 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1918 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1620 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,851 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2005 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 910 | 50% | 139 |
| #9 | Bratanov | 49% | 152 |
| #10 | degenerated players | 48% | 21 |
| #11 | Alice' | 45% | 31 |
| #12 | 𝕄𝕖𝕠𝕨 | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bratanov | 48 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | ivoGOD | 10 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | olelemaiko | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | leko obseben priqtno nadurven | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | 910 | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 910 | 288 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | AYO TECHNOLOGY | 237 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bratanov | 160 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | 𝕄𝕖𝕠𝕨 | 160 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | olelemaiko | 135 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olelemaiko | +4.13 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | degenerated players | +3.24 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | 910 | +2.91 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | AYO TECHNOLOGY | +2.13 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | ivoGOD | +0.36 | 74 | 52 |





