








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2930 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3258 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2520 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1891 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,728 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝚂 𝙰 𝙽 | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | pl- | 50% | 32 |
| #9 | mARTO | 49% | 162 |
| #10 | pb | 33% | 39 |
| #11 | Tix | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mangueboy | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | RoxX | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | R4FF | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | mARTO | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | xuxuzin | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mARTO | 773 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | xuxuzin | 380 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mangueboy | 332 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | R4FF | 206 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | RoxX | 179 | 0.05 | 3 min |





