








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 527 | 17% |
| Smokes | 931 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 770 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $496,338 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R&D | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | buanG | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | Bensxn24 | 49% | 49 |
| #4 | JR^2 | 47% | 95 |
| #5 | StruggleTTV | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JR^2 | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | JustMalarkie | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Excel | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | buanG | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JR^2 | 260 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | buanG | 78 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bensxn24 | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Excel | 58 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Les Lions | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |





