








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 748 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 318 matches | ||
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5250 | 18% |
| Smokes | 10103 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 6221 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6839 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,544,677 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 907 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nathe | 50% | 512 |
| #2 | Wh1z | 47% | 376 |
| #3 | AubsTheStrawbs | 47% | 224 |
| #4 | cyx | 45% | 142 |
| #5 | cosmickitten | 44% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wh1z | 47% | 376 |
| #3 | AubsTheStrawbs | 47% | 224 |
| #4 | cyx | 45% | 142 |
| #5 | cosmickitten | 44% | 276 |
| #6 | Aurora | 44% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wh1z | 81 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Nathe | 65 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | cosmickitten | 31 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | AubsTheStrawbs | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | cyx | 12 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nathe | 1152 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #2 | Wh1z | 508 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | cyx | 339 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | AubsTheStrawbs | 186 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Aurora | 127 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nathe | +3.42 | 68 | 59 |
| #2 | Wh1z | +2.52 | 71 | 41 |
| #3 | cyx | +1.47 | 43 | 51 |
| #4 | AubsTheStrawbs | -0.40 | 36 | 59 |
| #5 | cosmickitten | -1.17 | 27 | 15 |





