








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1244 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1287 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 930 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1346 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,012,762 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzle | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | La Reyna <3 | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | stanneke2009 | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | thaisoni | 48% | 181 |
| #5 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 44% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | thaisoni | 48% | 181 |
| #5 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 44% | 282 |
| #6 | Vaniks | 42% | 228 |
| #7 | Galaxy gamer866 | 34% | 85 |
| #8 | M4fChees~ | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 115 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | thaisoni | 50 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Galaxy gamer866 | 33 | 0.0213 |
| #4 | Vaniks | 24 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | stanneke2009 | 16 | 0.0224 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | 432 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | thaisoni | 260 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vaniks | 223 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | stanneke2009 | 96 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | M4fChees~ | 74 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzle | +5.14 | 57 | 45 |
| #2 | La Reyna <3 | +4.47 | 58 | 19 |
| #3 | thaisoni | +3.49 | 53 | 35 |
| #4 | stanneke2009 | +3.42 | 52 | 39 |
| #5 | 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖑𝖊𝖝 | +3.20 | 63 | 32 |





