








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




145 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4401 | 49% |
| Smokes | 554 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2746 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1373 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,581 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prions | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Blaumanis Kaarlsoons | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | gurt | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | SHlong | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | shekel :) [hoot] | 47% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | gurt | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | SHlong | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | shekel :) [hoot] | 47% | 196 |
| #6 | ๋KennyL | 46% | 194 |
| #7 | apsis | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shekel :) [hoot] | 102 | 0.0267 |
| #2 | ๋KennyL | 98 | 0.0257 |
| #3 | gurt | 30 | 0.0199 |
| #4 | Blaumanis Kaarlsoons | 16 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | apsis | 10 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaumanis Kaarlsoons | 406 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | shekel :) [hoot] | 225 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | ๋KennyL | 109 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | SHlong | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | gurt | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๋KennyL | +4.81 | 91 | 25 |
| #2 | gurt | +2.20 | 46 | 40 |
| #3 | Blaumanis Kaarlsoons | +1.26 | 62 | 55 |
| #4 | shekel :) [hoot] | -0.72 | 42 | 34 |
| #5 | apsis | -0.95 | 35 | 33 |





