








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 948 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2905 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2105 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1118 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2221 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,927 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bowwow | 55% | 83 |
| #2 | Juris | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | gurt | 49% | 151 |
| #4 | prions | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | SHlong | 47% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | gurt | 49% | 151 |
| #4 | prions | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | SHlong | 47% | 94 |
| #6 | TheBigGhost | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | apsis | 45% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gurt | 45 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | apsis | 30 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | bowwow | 17 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | SHlong | 15 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | prions | 10 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bowwow | 560 | 0.32 | 15 min |
| #2 | SHlong | 154 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | gurt | 150 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | prions | 111 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | apsis | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBigGhost | +9.14 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | gurt | +1.56 | 41 | 42 |
| #3 | Blaumanis Kaarlsoons | +0.51 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | bowwow | -0.17 | 37 | 62 |
| #5 | Juris | -0.97 | 53 | 55 |





