










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1958 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3108 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1449 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,754 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vesterberg. | 54% | 170 |
| #2 | Maltisen | 50% | 82 |
| #3 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Sauucey | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vesterberg. | 54% | 170 |
| #2 | Maltisen | 50% | 82 |
| #3 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Sauucey | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maltisen | 26 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 21 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | Vesterberg. | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Sauucey | 8 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vesterberg. | 95 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sauucey | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Maltisen | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proud Ikea Member 2024 | +1.58 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | +1.42 | 73 | 41 |
| #3 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | +1.03 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Maltisen | +0.92 | 72 | 39 |
| #5 | Sauucey | -0.28 | 68 | 61 |





