








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 859 | 22% |
| Smokes | 899 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1203 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 893 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,921 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ext1ncT | 83% | 18 |
| #2 | Chicago spy | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Stoxzy | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | NemoTheBloop | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maltisen | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Proud Ikea Member 2024 | 6 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | dabster hunter | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Chicago spy | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoxzy | +4.06 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | +3.34 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | Ext1ncT | +3.13 | 98 | 22 |
| #4 | dabster hunter | +2.15 | 77 | 56 |
| #5 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | +2.11 | 86 | 55 |





