








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1812 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1732 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2050 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1685 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $896,665 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 638 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Vesterberg. | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | dabster hunter | 57% | 56 |
| #4 | Blazor_pro | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Skillzツ | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Blazor_pro | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Skillzツ | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Dicky chicken | 50% | 30 |
| #7 | Maltisen | 48% | 52 |
| #8 | Proud Ikea Member 2024 | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dabster hunter | 14 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Maltisen | 14 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | 10 | 0.0160 |
| #4 | Proud Ikea Member 2024 | 9 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | Vesterberg. | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dicky chicken | 109 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | dabster hunter | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Proud Ikea Member 2024 | 71 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Skillzツ | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Vesterberg. | 27 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɹǝdsɐƆ | +3.69 | 78 | 42 |
| #2 | Proud Ikea Member 2024 | +2.66 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Maltisen | +1.95 | 70 | 40 |
| #4 | Skillzツ | +0.94 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | dabster hunter | +0.91 | 65 | 55 |





