








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 871 | 34% |
| Smokes | 731 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 483 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,264 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sw0rd | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | KokkeN | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | noah (stavn) | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Simmeli0n | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Atlas | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BOttomSylle | 53% | 45 |
| #7 | Schub | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | T3DDY | 45% | 44 |
| #9 | ActionBananen | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | Vaz1y | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simmeli0n | 11 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | BOttomSylle | 10 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | T3DDY | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | ActionBananen | 6 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | Vaz1y | 4 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3DDY | 136 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | ActionBananen | 91 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | BOttomSylle | 84 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Simmeli0n | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | noah (stavn) | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noah (stavn) | +4.56 | 84 | 53 |
| #2 | T3DDY | +2.10 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | Schub | +2.03 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | ActionBananen | +1.88 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | KokkeN | +0.21 | 60 | 36 |





