








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 776 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 839 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,672 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KokkeN | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Doz2y | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Atlas | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Schub | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Sw0rd | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ActionBananen | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | T3DDY | 49% | 57 |
| #10 | noah (stavn) | 48% | 21 |
| #11 | BOttomSylle | 47% | 55 |
| #12 | BYRTzelele | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOttomSylle | 15 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Nob2dy | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | T3DDY | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Vaz1y | 7 | 0.0238 |
| #5 | ActionBananen | 6 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3DDY | 154 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nob2dy | 133 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | BOttomSylle | 120 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Doz2y | 95 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | ActionBananen | 81 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noah (stavn) | +2.84 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | T3DDY | +2.30 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | Simmeli0n | +0.87 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | Doz2y | +0.79 | 44 | 69 |
| #5 | ActionBananen | +0.73 | 66 | 58 |





