








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 24% |
| Smokes | 625 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 670 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 600 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,633 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schub | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | KokkeN | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Doz2y | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Simmeli0n | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | T3DDY | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Simmeli0n | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | T3DDY | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | ActionBananen | 47% | 75 |
| #7 | BOttomSylle | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Nob2dy | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ActionBananen | 21 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Simmeli0n | 9 | 0.0294 |
| #3 | BOttomSylle | 9 | 0.0570 |
| #4 | T3DDY | 8 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Nob2dy | 6 | 0.0245 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ActionBananen | 239 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Doz2y | 175 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | T3DDY | 92 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nob2dy | 39 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Simmeli0n | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schub | +3.55 | 69 | 40 |
| #2 | Simmeli0n | +1.93 | 75 | 41 |
| #3 | ActionBananen | +1.51 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | Doz2y | +0.64 | 43 | 61 |
| #5 | T3DDY | +0.59 | 69 | 56 |





