








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1755 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1305 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1188 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 927 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $516,845 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schub | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | KokkeN | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Doz2y | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Simmeli0n | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Atlas | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Vaz1y | 47% | 75 |
| #7 | noah (stavn) | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | Nob2dy | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | T3DDY | 44% | 63 |
| #10 | BOttomSylle | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaz1y | 27 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | Simmeli0n | 13 | 0.0253 |
| #3 | T3DDY | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Nob2dy | 12 | 0.0241 |
| #5 | BOttomSylle | 10 | 0.0254 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3DDY | 177 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Doz2y | 141 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vaz1y | 102 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nob2dy | 93 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Atlas | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schub | +2.94 | 57 | 41 |
| #2 | noah (stavn) | +2.89 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | ActionBananen | +1.27 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | T3DDY | +1.09 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | Simmeli0n | +1.08 | 76 | 38 |





