








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 19% |
| Smokes | 958 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 891 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 756 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,952 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atlas | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | KokkeN | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Nob2dy | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | MightyGuz | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Doz2y | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sw0rd | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Simmeli0n | 47% | 55 |
| #9 | T3DDY | 44% | 45 |
| #10 | ActionBananen | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Vaz1y | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simmeli0n | 13 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | T3DDY | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Nob2dy | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Vaz1y | 6 | 0.0368 |
| #5 | ActionBananen | 5 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nob2dy | 152 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | T3DDY | 108 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Simmeli0n | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ActionBananen | 78 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Doz2y | 55 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noah (stavn) | +3.90 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | T3DDY | +3.03 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | MightyGuz | +2.20 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | Atlas | +1.95 | 43 | 56 |
| #5 | Doz2y | +0.78 | 51 | 57 |





