








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 597 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6376 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9049 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4159 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5457 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,482,536 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1892 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | batman | 55% | 84 |
| #2 | KGB | 47% | 215 |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | 47% | 258 |
| #4 | AbeDogg | 47% | 273 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | 45% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AbeDogg | 47% | 273 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | 45% | 273 |
| #6 | WigglyWrangler | 42% | 142 |
| #7 | Cybor-Soldier | 38% | 96 |
| #8 | 666 | 31% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phuckdolfin | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | WigglyWrangler | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | AbeDogg | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Strike Force 14 | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | KGB | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KGB | 686 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | phuckdolfin | 679 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | AbeDogg | 605 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | WigglyWrangler | 543 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | Strike Force 14 | 523 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | +0.66 | 54 | 46 |
| #2 | batman | +0.44 | 44 | 44 |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | +0.05 | 35 | 53 |
| #4 | KGB | -0.89 | 31 | 48 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | -0.90 | 46 | 68 |





