








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 973 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2393 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3206 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1504 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2912 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,991,337 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | batman | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | Strike Force 14 | 48% | 150 |
| #3 | KGB | 48% | 170 |
| #4 | Poorly Planned | 47% | 273 |
| #5 | Cybor-Soldier | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Poorly Planned | 47% | 273 |
| #5 | Cybor-Soldier | 43% | 37 |
| #6 | phuckdolfin | 42% | 106 |
| #7 | Squiggie | 33% | 24 |
| #8 | WigglyWrangler | 22% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | WigglyWrangler | 8 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | KGB | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Squiggie | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | 652 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | KGB | 545 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | 333 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | phuckdolfin | 298 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | WigglyWrangler | 154 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | +1.12 | 47 | 47 |
| #2 | batman | +0.50 | 44 | 45 |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | +0.50 | 39 | 56 |
| #4 | Squiggie | +0.27 | 37 | 30 |
| #5 | Cybor-Soldier | +0.13 | 36 | 43 |





