








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3839 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4864 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3181 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 687 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,932 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 863 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cybor-Soldier | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | batman | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | AbeDogg | 48% | 170 |
| #4 | Poorly Planned | 47% | 215 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | 44% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AbeDogg | 48% | 170 |
| #4 | Poorly Planned | 47% | 215 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | 44% | 124 |
| #6 | Strike Force 14 | 44% | 114 |
| #7 | Squiggie | 43% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squiggie | 22 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Poorly Planned | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | phuckdolfin | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | batman | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | AbeDogg | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | 455 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | AbeDogg | 385 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | phuckdolfin | 344 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Strike Force 14 | 244 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Squiggie | 133 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squiggie | +1.97 | 38 | 41 |
| #2 | Poorly Planned | +0.74 | 48 | 47 |
| #3 | batman | +0.20 | 46 | 44 |
| #4 | Strike Force 14 | -0.06 | 38 | 54 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | -0.33 | 45 | 70 |





