








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3570 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1365 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3926 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3098 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,694 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phuckdolfin | 42% | 81 |
| #2 | Poorly Planned | 42% | 142 |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | 41% | 76 |
| #4 | Mr.Clean | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | AbeDogg | 22% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mr.Clean | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | AbeDogg | 22% | 36 |
| #6 | 666 | 18% | 28 |
| #7 | Cybor-Soldier | 17% | 24 |
| #8 | KGB | 12% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | KGB | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | phuckdolfin | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | AbeDogg | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | 666 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | 248 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | phuckdolfin | 181 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | AbeDogg | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr.Clean | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Clean | +5.08 | 72 | 31 |
| #2 | Poorly Planned | +1.93 | 56 | 40 |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | +0.18 | 25 | 48 |
| #4 | phuckdolfin | -0.19 | 42 | 68 |
| #5 | Cybor-Soldier | -0.63 | 30 | 41 |





